NARCISSISTIC SPECTRUM or NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is difficult to diagnose and in many cases a diagnosis serves no purpose. The very nature of a narcissist is to deny they are flawed in any way and therefore they will also dismiss a diagnosis. In any case there is no 'cure' or 'treatment' for this condition.
If you think you need help because you are a narcissist you are not a narcissist!
Narcissism is a word which I believe is overused in our current times and has become a label attached to many people who are not diagnosed. I prefer therefore to think of the condition as a spectrum rather than a disorder.
Many people display traits of narcissism and this in itself is not necessarily problematic. Some people, however find themselves in a relationship with another individual where their narcissistic traits emerge as a dominating force causing harm to the other party in a number of ways.
The majority of individuals I have worked with who have experienced an intimate relationship with someone who displays traits of narcissism end up feeling fragile, crazy, like a failure, unworthy of love and more. The sad truth is, it is not them at all it is due to the manipulations, coercions and mental abuse showered on them by the person they love and strive to meet the needs of.
For most clients the realisation that this person they fell in love with is not what they seem is a slow painful dawning of realisation accompanied by a sense of shock that they allowed themselves to fall into the trap of abuse. They need to understand how they became attracted to this person, how this person tricked them and how to spot the signs so that they can avoid it, should they ever feel safe enough to entertain the idea of a new relationship in the future.
I offer a specialised service for clients affected by problematic narcissism.
This kind of therapy is gentle and self-directed. In other words my role as the therapist is to guide you, the client to your own understanding, to accompany you on your journey of healing, to help you make sense of the past, to grow back into love of the self and to begin to see a future in which your happiness, safety and heartfelt dreams begin to become a reality.
DIVORCING THE NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY
Court proceedings rarely go as expected because the narcissistic personality plays to win at any cost and the other person often loses out financially and emotionally.
The presence of children between the two of you adds to the emotional pain and the complications. The narcissistic personality will profess deep love for their children but will use them as weapons in the battle between you.
Often it is not until long after events are concluded that one realises the extent to which their partner had manipulated or controlled them within the relationship. The most common response is that they felt in shock, unable to comprehend that they were blind to what was happening at the time. They speak of walking on eggshells, of always appeasing the other, of spending energy protecting the children from the behaviour of their other parent whilst at the same time being in denial.
As the begin to emerge from the shock they feel a sense of numbness which eventually begins to fade. At this time counselling is an excellent pathway to beginning to feel whole again, to develop self trust and confidence to move forward and create the new life they deserve.
I aim not to work with individuals with narcissistic personalities. My goal is to help those affected to recover from the trauma and re-establish themselves whilst helping them to recognise the signs in order to avoid repeating history in future relationships.