RECOVERING FROM DIVORCE/SEPARATION
Divorce and Separation is an especially stressful experience particularly if the relationship was with a person with a personality disorder. Often these relationships involve a significant degree of abuse,coercive and manipulative behaviour. The other party is often left feeling vulnerable and uncertain of how to proceed in life. However having some degree of clarity on what led to the breakdown of a relationship will be key to successful future relationships regardless of whether they are romantic, platonic or working. Clients at the end of the relationship often need to work on rebuilding their self esteem and developing new found confidence. It is always helpful to work on establishing clear values and boundaries as a framework for setting goals and planning for the future.
I have specific experience in helping clients who have experienced relationships where the other party shows traits of NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER and have a separate page dedicated to this.
DEALING WITH ANXIETY or DEPRESSION
Anxiety is an all pervading issue - everyone feels it. For some people it becomes a consuming problem which is debilitating, pushing them into a state of flee or freeze. Anxiety arises when a person becomes overly concerned, even afraid of the future and unable to refer to events in the past which would ordinarily undermine the present fears.
Depression conversely is a deeply overwhelming sadness caused by an inability to move forward, to leave behind the past with acceptance. An inability to look to the future.
Counselling can help clients to rationalise these difficult feelings and begin to build a broader perspective of their world ultimately alleviating the pain experienced within. It provides a safe place to explore uncomfortable feelings and make sense of them. Hypnotherapy is also a very useful process for clients struggling with anxiety/depression and many find swift relief from the initial problems as they identify the triggers and their ability to see them from a different perspective shifts.
LOSS & GRIEF WORK
Dealing with loss is a significant experience for most people which often leaves individuals feeling hopeless, helpless and unable to perceive a future with a new outlook.
Loss is not always the result of a death a loved one but can be the end of a relationship, retirement from a long work career, loss of support structures due to relocation etc.
additionally anticipated loss creates difficulties for many people whether it is anticipating their own death or the death of a spouse/partner. Periods of serious illness or the diagnosis of a terminal/incurable condition force us to confront our mortality. In a society where youthfulness is high on the agenda and the end of life is increasingly a taboo subject many are left with no place to explore our own feelings about these issues.
Counselling offers a safe place to bring these topics into the open and navigate our way through the complex emotions which arise when confronted with loss, mortality etc.
Other issues I can help with
CONFIDENCE & SELF ESTEEM
Do you doubt yourself? Do you have a strong critical voice in your head constantly putting you down?
Do you struggle to get yourself heard?
Are you afraid to ask the question? whatever the question might be! And then you berate yourself for your failure!
Do you feel like you could be so much more? more successful, more powerful, more fulfilled?
Self Esteem and confidence are natural to us - we are born with a strong sense of our importance and are not afraid to make our needs known. For all sorts of reasons as we grow and learn to moderate our demands from others some of us develop the sense that none of our needs are important, that our wished need not be valued. as we deny these aspects of ourselves our respect for ourself tumbles and we fall into behaviour patterns which serve to devalue us further- negative self talk, self criticism, unexpressed anger and an overwhelming sense of failure pervade our lives and impact on well being and potential.
Counselling work for low self esteem focusses on identifying our strengths, finding reasons to self affirm and developing self compassion enabling individuals to grow in confidence. The work is usually client-focussed and therefore, gentle and often involves identifying areas of childhood experience which may have contributed to the lack of self worth.
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